Saturday, November 19, 2016

The Sound of Silence

Hello again. I feel as if this blog, this space, is filled with many apologies. Almost every time I go on a short hiatus from writing, I always come back with an apology. This is a habit I have decided to break: Why should I apologize for anything that I am not sorry for?

In the past, I mostly stopped writing because I was either too busy (I started this blog when I was still completing my undergraduate degree), or because I felt like I had no writing direction or focus. Although my most recent break initially started because I felt I had nothing to write about, I think it came at a very good time. Updating my blog started feeling like something I had to do, and something that I didn't enjoy anymore. It bothered me that my blog seemed to lack a central topic, and I felt like my posts were all over the place.

Over this past year, a lot of things came up that made me feel very unsettled. I won't go into details here because many of the issues are rather personal, but I will say that these events made me question who I was. While I was in such a state, writing was the last thing on my mind. How could I convey my true self here if I didn't even know who I was anymore?

This is why I do not feel the need to apologize for being away from writing for so long. I needed to take the time to feel okay again, and to feel like myself again. I needed to accept the fact that yes, perhaps my blog is a bit all over the place, and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. My thoughts are often a bit jumbled, and if I am being my truest self here, in this space, then my journal can and should very well reflect that.

So here I am. I'm back. I'll be writing about anything that compels me to write, and if my thoughts somehow show any patterns that I can categorize, I'll make sure to include labels at the top of my blog so you can jump around from topic to topic.

Before I'm off for now, I do want to say thank you so much to the special few who have always supported me. You've encouraged me to find myself again and you've helped me truly accept who I am. I could not be as happy as I am now without you. You know who you are.


natenevercrashes said...

:) so goo(d) to see you back here!

Paulina said...

Thank you! It feels goo(d) to be back :)